From my office window overlooking an immaculately manicured landscape with koi ponds, gazing pools, and willow trees I find myself lost in the spectacle of an enormous double rainbow framing a field of brilliant lightning bolts in the distance.
In blissful moments like this, I do not think about what I need to be happy. I just am.
Haunted by the memories of old, broken dreams, Bitter like the taste of dandelion greens. Promises unfulfilled, sacred idols set ablaze, Shadows flittering through my window pane.
No comfortable absolutes offered this time, my friend. Life is a journey not a sightseeing tour. Expect to pave your own roads and post your own signs.
Lately, I don't know what to say. In a week it will be Spring. The year is already off to a great start, but I don't feel like talking about specifics. I am entering a *quiet period*. It is time to watch the changes of the season unfold, breathe in the delicate fragrance of new blooms, and dangle my feet in the cool rushing river of life.
P.S. The aforementioned mystery packages will be shipped out this week. If this means you, watch your mailbox. ;)
I'm thinking about developing a TV pilot called The Shitties!
The story chronicles the misadventures of a group of friends in their 30's whose bad attitudes have outlived their purpose. During their youth, they wore punk rock t-shirts to school and fought for independence, truth, and identity. Yet unlike the rest of their peers, they refused to move ahead as time marched on. Now, mired in the past, they erroneously believe themselves to be the same rebellious crusaders they've always been, but to everyone else their bad attitudes serve as little more than an ironic reminder of how they've missed the boat entirely.
Blinded by an overinflated sense of pride, the friends spend their time congratulating one another of their superiority over the rest of humanity via snarky bad puns and innuendo. This pervasive form of malignant narcissism further compels them to stalk and gossip about celebrities, politicians, and their peers in an attempt to shoot down "the competition" and thus, hopefully, make themselves feel better by comparison. Predictably, these attempts bomb monstrously, ending in repeated bouts of misery for the group. Despite this, nothing ever changes.
Until...
magically....
...the friends are teleported into the delusional land of The Shitties! It is a place where they discover (at first to their great delight), that everyone who lives there is exactly the same as they are! Callous! Overconfident! Proud! Pathetic! Happiness quickly turns to chaos as the forces of apathy, scapegoating, sarcasm, and jealousy clash against one another in a whirlwind dance of drama. Sewers back up. Toilets overflow. Neighbors engage in fistfights. And nobody does anything about it except stick out their fat lower lip and bitch. Fan-tastical-fun!
Do the friends burrow more deeply into their own schadenfreude? Or can they change their stubborn ways and escape from Shittyland before Social Security kicks in? Tune in and find out! Watch for The Shitties! to be aired on NBC during the fall 2007 season. Or, on LiveJournal all year long.
With the 2006 year of preparation behind them, those born in a pig year finally come into the full energy of their own sign. With all of the patient pig's attention to detail and hard work, the table has been set for this banquet year and pigs will enjoy sharing the feast with their family, friends and business associates. This will be a lucky year — with prosperity coming from success in business but also from unexpected money. Good fortune in 2007 is ahead for romantic adventures. A marriage for the pig this year is blessed with good omens. Family, always important to the pig, will be well taken care of and the home ruled by the pig will enjoy harmony and good fortune. Old business will be successful and new ventures will be fortunate.
Tell me what animal you are. Not sure? Look here (scroll to the bottom) and then post a reply. Then I'll post your prediction for 2007.
Ladies: Have you ever given a surprise gift of flowers to a boyfriend/husband? Would you? Not for a holiday or anything, but "just because"?
Men: What is the goofiest schmoopy love name you have ever called your sweetie and NOT been punched for it? I've managed to get "my widdle wump woast" through without injury, but it was damn close.
As a wee 6-year old, I remember getting seriously creeped out by Sea Devil.
The object of this 1972 arcade game was to "shoot the deadly sea devil until time runs out". Inside the machine lurked a scary-looking manta ray that tried to avoid the harpoon bullets. Once hit, the manta squealed horribly and flopped around in pain as blood spurted violently from its body. It was LOUD and graphic. Then a new manta would take its place and the carnage would continue.
Fun, huh? That's the kind of reality-awakening experience that leads to a life of Greenpeace activism.
I found this icky game at an amusement center for very young children. It was Penny Whistle Park of all places! Just imagine it: Mom dropping me off to play with clowns, circus rides, balloons, and SHRIEKING BLOODY DEVIL FISH! No way that would happen at your local Chuck E Cheese. What is the scariest thing in there today? Spongebob?
Sea Devil could only have been a product of the 1970's, a time of weird, wonderful, and frequently unpleasant surprises. Remember when your Saturday morning cartoons would be interrupted by horror movie trailers during the commercial breaks? Remember the tripped-out Krofft Supershows? Remember beauty salons when they were pink and ugly and smelled of harsh chemicals? Ah, those were the glory days of Sea Devil.
It was an inappropriate and gross game, but I remember putting a lot of quarters into it anyway. I guess I liked icky stuff. Didn't you?
The PC guy is funny. Afraid of spyware. Confused by technology. Overwhelmed by change. Generally paranoid. In other words, a lot like most human beings.
The Apple dude? I'm at a loss. He pretty much just stands there acknowledging how wonderful he is, yet his mind seems to be somewhere else. He must be thinking about his next shopping trip to IKEA. Or his next hair and manicure appointment at Toni and Guy. Not much to say, really.
#1 - Tacoma, Washington #2 - Norfolk, Virginia #3 - Hampton, Virginia #4 - Kent, Washington #5 - Portland, Oregon #6 - Eugene, Oregon #7 - Lynchburg, Virginia #8 - Olympia, Washington #9 - Seattle, Washington #10 - Charleston, West Virginia #11 - Rocky Mount-Stony Creek, North Carolina #12 - Corvallis, Oregon #13 - Asheville, North Carolina #14 - Provo-Orem, Utah #15 - Salem, Oregon #16 - Carlisle, Pennsylvania #17 - Harrisburg, Pennsylvania #18 - Bellingham, Washington #19 - Baltimore, Maryland #20 - Salt Lake City, Utah #21 - Providence, Rhode Island #22 - Roanoke, Virginia #23 - Ogden, Utah #24 - Durham, North Carolina
Final scores by state:
Washington - 5 votes Oregon & Virginia - 4 votes each North Carolina & Utah - 3 votes each Pennsylvania - 2 votes Maryland & West Virginia & Rhode Island - 1 vote each
By region:
Pacific Northwest - 9 Mid-Atlantic - 8 South Atlantic - 3 Mountain States - 3 Northeast - 1
Hey... where's San Francisco? I don't see anything in Colorado, California, or New Mexico, either. What's going on here? Must be the housing costs. I set $200K as the median price, so I guess those states are out.
From the offerings presented, the Pacific Northwest would be the first region I would check out. Then Pennsylvania, followed by North Carolina, then... who knows? Since I have not visited any of the states mentioned in the list it would be impossible to choose one without doing some research.
P.S. No, I'm not thinking about moving anytime soon. ;)
Call me a curmudgeon, but I am now officially sick and tired of Apple's midriff-shakin', booty boppin', indie rockin', obsequiously-in-love-with-itself advertising. Look! Party in my pants! Worship my clothes! I am SUCH an individual! I have tons of MySpace friends and we're all emo!
Are we headed towards a future where all of our appliances will be the size of a thimble and painted in Dove Bar white? I think not. Last I checked, everything from bluetooth headsets to flatscreen TV's to diagnostic imaging equipment is getting the makeover treatment and not all of it is in "blandicool". Nor is it fantastically overpriced. Nor is it targeted toward gullible fashionistas with an ego complex.
Apple: Enough already. You aren't cool because you say so. You are cool because I say so. Appeal to my intelligence, please. A little is all I ask.
...*cough* actually, it's more like a barstool than a mountain...
Welllllllp, here we are. It's the end of November and 2007 will soon be upon us. How did your year stack up? Great? As expected? Backwards? FUBAR'ed? Whatever your situation, it's about time to wipe the slate clean and start anew.
No complaints here. 2006 was a motorcycle jump across the Grand Canyon and we landed in one piece. Married. Hawaii'ed. DVD'ed. Daft Punk'ed. It's all good. I've already got the roadmap for 2007 down on paper and after Christmas it will be time to twist the handle again and break another distance record.
Misson objective stated. Now let's get down to the details.
Tonight, I watched Bourne Supremacy with Michelle. Didn't like it. The screenplay was a tepid paint-by-numbers arrangement (i.e. "cashing out") with weak dialogue, intrusive background music, and hyperactive camera work that imparted a nauseating effect. Is it really necessary to make seventeen different rapid-fire cuts of a woman picking up a telephone to get the point across? BAM... hand reaches for phone. BAM... phone on hook. BAM... hand stretches. BAM... phone picked up. BAM... phone raised to head. BAM... yo mama! Geez. Enough already. If I wanted total sensory abuse, I'd ride one of those $7 virtual roller coaster simulators at the state fair.
2 1/2 stars out of 5. Poor cinematography aside, Supremacy was a weak conclusion to a promising debut.
Over the holiday weekend, my brother bought a pickup truck. Yee haw, the first gol-dang pickup truck in the family! Actually, he dun purty good with this'un (stop me anytime, please). It is a black 2002 Toyota Tacoma 4-cylinder w/extended cab. Unlike the barrage of over-horsepowered fuel sucking monster trucks around here, the Tacoma is a civilized low-profile machine that gets great gas mileage and thankfully lacks the 'tude. The only drawback is the number of favors he will doubtless earn as Local Friend With Truck. Beware, they'll come a-knockin', pardner!
Sudden flashback: When Michelle and I were stuck waiting at the Miami airport on standby, I purchased a small stack of magazines to pass the time. One of them was a newcomer to me, The Economist. It blew me away. Great editorials and global event coverage with little of the distracting fluff and advertisements that seem to have overtaken other popular periodicals such as Time. Although expensive at $129/year, the quality of information in The Economist justifies the cost. It's my new favorite weekly reader. Anyone else heard of it? Darn good read.
Tip: For a discount and free gift, pull out the holiday subscription card from the nearest newsstand issue. This way, it is $99/year with additional gift subscriptions at $69 each. You also get a free memory stick, which is cool.
Back to the present. I've been playing a lot of Medieval II: Total War in my spare time. As has been described by the gaming media, M2TW is simply the most engrossing, epic, beautiful, and deep simulation of managing a virtual kingdom that has ever been produced. I can confirm that this is true. Every part of it has been agonized over with loving attention to detail. The number of elements under your control is staggering: Princesses, priests, heretics and witches, merchants, diplomats, Mongol invasions, alliances, relations with The Pope, trade routes, naval combat, gunpowder, crusades, rebellions, inquisitors, assassins, the discovery of the "new world", and hundreds upon hundreds of awesome medieval-era troops from Gothic Knights to cow-launching trebuchets. Damn, it just goes on and on and all of it is great.
The voice acting is terrific and is occasionally laugh out loud hilarious. Some of the taunting is reminiscent of Monty Python and The Holy Grail. For example, as the leader of Spain, I sent some strong units of dismounted feudal knights and pavise crossbowmen into France after they violated my treaty and attacked my Portugese allies. Before the battle, my general stirred up his men with a short speech (complete with perfect Spanish accent): "These Frenchmen you see before you are not to be feared. Some say they make better lovers than they do fighters. This is true! Ask any pig, goat, or sheep..." (followed by rousing laughter and applause)
Enough said. M2TW is a monster of a game that oozes quality from every pixel. It will command all of your spare time, but in return you will finally be able to take the Castle Arrrrrrgh from those naughty Frenchmen if you so desire. "Now go away before I taunt you a second time!"
Lots more to discuss, but I'll save it until after my Wii arrives. I'll be sure to give it an honest appraisal from a battle-hardened, Gen-X, Eldergamer perspective. In the meantime, happy holidays and be sure to get together with friends and family this season. The best thing about Christmas time is the people, and that means you. Cheers!
Our Halloween party was a rip-roaring success! SO much fun. Michelle and I spent a month planning it. She created a huge spread of sinfully indulgent treats (pictured above), whereas my job was to transform the house into a spooky discotheque. We were very pleased with the results.
The coolest thing on the table was the brain spread. It looked so real, some of our guests were afraid to eat it!
This was our first "bring the house down" type of party. Lots of fancy drinks, loud music, and rump-shakin' going on all night. I'm amazed the neighbors didn't call the police because we had the subwoofer up LOUD until well after midnight.
Everyone liked the club lighting FX. I used a disco ball w/2 pinspots, fog machine, and an American DJ Mini-Aggressor II. The only drawback was that the ambient light level was a bit too bright. I plan to remedy this next year by replacing the disco ball and Mini-Aggressor II with a more advanced laser/gobo/strobe system. This will give the room that true "dark club" look. Should be FUN!
Michelle has an amazing ability to get people energized. I think she left a few zombie bite marks on our guests and subsequently earned herself a lap dance. Ha! Michelle really knows how to have fun. She can whip any room into action.
Benjamin was dressed as Master Chief from the Halo series. His cardboard box interpretation contained a speaker system w/wrist-mounted MP3 player. He totally had the low budget Robot Rock thing down. Ned is on the left in his grumpy old man outfit. GOTTA LOVE those black kneehigh socks, ya geezer. We saw lots of great costumes that night!
"Gus" is the mischevious disembodied head that haunted the bathroom. I sneakily hung him in the corner of the shower stall for maximum effect. Guests entering the bathroom had no idea he was there until it was too late. He scared a few people real good.
We've named our undead greeter, "Chauncey". He's a fearsome-looking fellow who is actually quite nice once you get to know him. He is the butler who used to serve the previous tenants of the house. Instead of passing on, he has chosen to stay and continue with his duties. Poor Chauncey never gets anything productive done because he always frightens everyone away. In the photo above, he is bringing me a chain to fix the broken gate. Appearances can be deceiving. Ah, but try explaining that to a horde of fleeing children... they won't listen.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
nickdangerous's journal
post a comment
5 (13.5%)
